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Published On: Mar 17, 2007 02:40 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: Mar 17, 2007 02:40 PM
Since He has Been Gone
Musings about my husband shipping out with the
army and how it has affected our family so far.
I often get asked how I am doing now that my
husband has shipped out to the Army with an uncertain future ahead. I
don’t know how to answer. I have been getting some nice support, but I am
also tried and worn out. Every night I fall into bed exhausted. I’m now a
certified single, working parent. The days are hard and
long.
Typical Day
The day starts around 6AM when I get myself and my daughter up and dressed. Then I need to get breakfast on the table, pack my daughter’s lunch and have us on the road by 7:30AM. Then I drop her off at school and rush like a mad woman as I try to get to work on time to teach my classes (which usually start at 9AM). Then I teach my class which is actually the lull in the day. I teach computer classes and that usually is HTML or database design classes. I enjoy teaching, but it takes a lot out of you. I feel drained of energy after I teach. I also need to make sure that I am prepared prior to the class start. You can’t just run in and teach a class. I have to get my home-based server running, make sure class files are installed and make sure that I have properly prepared the class manual that I am to teach that day. After class is done I drive home and try to get to Laurana’s school based daycare before the closing time of 6PM. Then I pick up my daughter and get dinner going. On a good night I can get her a bath before bed. On a bad night, like Thursday of last week I found out that she was injured at school. I picked her up from daycare to find her knuckles bloody. She said that she had fallen on the pavement. I was running around during the evening getting her band-aids and ointments for her hands. Then we had to run to the library to return books that were due. Then by the time we were home she had passed out in the car. I took her upstairs and laid her on the bed. She had completely crashed out and I hadn’t even been able to get her knuckles taken care of yet! I have so little time with my daughter during my working days and I feel constantly, naggingly guilt about it. This is not the way it should be. Then while I am numbingly exhausted I still have dishes and laundry to do. Oh and then there is e-mail and blogs to write. I am now writing at 3:51AM. I can only write during the wee hours of the morning. I have no other time to do so. I used to be so scared at night when my husband was not at home. But now I think I am too tired to be scared anymore.
Support
I have been lucky with the support that I have had. People have been coming all out of the woodwork offering me help. Whether someone is for or against the war they all seem to want to help to support our troops and I can only offer a sincere “Thank You”. This all would have been so much harder if people got upset at me because my husband was in the Army. But instead they just show me their support.
Before my husband left we ran into a guy at church who said that he would help me out while my husband was gone because he wanted to support someone who was protecting our country. I must say that I didn’t think much of his offer and I actually asked who he was. He said he was Rick and that he worked at Goodyear Tires. I thanked him for his offer, but thought little of it. One week after my husband left my tires needed work. They looked like they were about to blow. I called Goodyear and Rick was on the other line. I told him who I was and that I was calling in a favor. I told him about the car and how I needed help right now. He took care of my car immediately. The tires were fixed, rotated and I had a super-lube done. I was charged $49 and I honestly think I should have been charged more. Thank you Rick and Goodyear Tires! :-)
The other side of the equation is another offer of help from someone who does not support the war. This person will remain nameless for reasons that will become obvious. When she found out that my husband was about to ship out with the army she offered to hide him at her home. That way the army couldn’t take him she reasoned! She’s a very nice and thoughtful lady. But of course my husband did not take her up on the offer. So we have been getting offers of support from both sides of the equation.
I have also been lucky to have friends who are helping out to take care of Laurana. Last week one of the Mom’s in Laurana’s class took Laurana home. Then when I came to pick up Laurana she even made me dinner!! I was so astounded, I didn’t remember the last time that someone had made me dinner. The next week another one of my friends made us dinner and even took care of Laurana for me while I worked. Thank you friends! I need the support and you have been generous!
Adventures in Grandparent Babysitting
The grandparents have been trying to help me out while my husband is gone, but some of their help (though well intended) only gives me headaches. My Dad was supposed to babysit my daughter this week while I attended a meeting at Caltrans. He arrived 30 minutes late so I had to get a neighbor to come in last minute to watch my daughter while they waited for my Dad to arrive. Then when I got home my daughter gave me an earful. First my Dad was asleep in a guest room and my daughter was in another. Then my daughter tells me that my Dad has been reading “nookie” (her word) magazines while I was gone. I told my Dad that it wasn’t cool to do what he did. Then I had to find the magazines (which my daughter had to show me) which were hidden in a dresser and I threw them all out. Urgh! Parents!
Thoughts About the Future
When I have a few moments to think about our situation I get worried. The situation in Iraq is getting worse now, not better. I was hoping that they would start to pull troops out of Iraq and the US Government does seem to want to withdraw. But how can you withdraw or even reduce troops when there is a religious civil war going on in Iraq? Will they call up my husband to go? Will I see him on the TV with Al-Quada threatening to behead him? More than anything I fear my husband’s transfer to Iraq. I hear that 40% of the troops in Iraq are now reservists and that our troops are stretched thin. I can only hope that my husband doesn’t become another Iraqi statistic. If I could only have a husband who had a boring desk job! Then perhaps I would sleep easier at night.
Typical Day
The day starts around 6AM when I get myself and my daughter up and dressed. Then I need to get breakfast on the table, pack my daughter’s lunch and have us on the road by 7:30AM. Then I drop her off at school and rush like a mad woman as I try to get to work on time to teach my classes (which usually start at 9AM). Then I teach my class which is actually the lull in the day. I teach computer classes and that usually is HTML or database design classes. I enjoy teaching, but it takes a lot out of you. I feel drained of energy after I teach. I also need to make sure that I am prepared prior to the class start. You can’t just run in and teach a class. I have to get my home-based server running, make sure class files are installed and make sure that I have properly prepared the class manual that I am to teach that day. After class is done I drive home and try to get to Laurana’s school based daycare before the closing time of 6PM. Then I pick up my daughter and get dinner going. On a good night I can get her a bath before bed. On a bad night, like Thursday of last week I found out that she was injured at school. I picked her up from daycare to find her knuckles bloody. She said that she had fallen on the pavement. I was running around during the evening getting her band-aids and ointments for her hands. Then we had to run to the library to return books that were due. Then by the time we were home she had passed out in the car. I took her upstairs and laid her on the bed. She had completely crashed out and I hadn’t even been able to get her knuckles taken care of yet! I have so little time with my daughter during my working days and I feel constantly, naggingly guilt about it. This is not the way it should be. Then while I am numbingly exhausted I still have dishes and laundry to do. Oh and then there is e-mail and blogs to write. I am now writing at 3:51AM. I can only write during the wee hours of the morning. I have no other time to do so. I used to be so scared at night when my husband was not at home. But now I think I am too tired to be scared anymore.
Support
I have been lucky with the support that I have had. People have been coming all out of the woodwork offering me help. Whether someone is for or against the war they all seem to want to help to support our troops and I can only offer a sincere “Thank You”. This all would have been so much harder if people got upset at me because my husband was in the Army. But instead they just show me their support.
Before my husband left we ran into a guy at church who said that he would help me out while my husband was gone because he wanted to support someone who was protecting our country. I must say that I didn’t think much of his offer and I actually asked who he was. He said he was Rick and that he worked at Goodyear Tires. I thanked him for his offer, but thought little of it. One week after my husband left my tires needed work. They looked like they were about to blow. I called Goodyear and Rick was on the other line. I told him who I was and that I was calling in a favor. I told him about the car and how I needed help right now. He took care of my car immediately. The tires were fixed, rotated and I had a super-lube done. I was charged $49 and I honestly think I should have been charged more. Thank you Rick and Goodyear Tires! :-)
The other side of the equation is another offer of help from someone who does not support the war. This person will remain nameless for reasons that will become obvious. When she found out that my husband was about to ship out with the army she offered to hide him at her home. That way the army couldn’t take him she reasoned! She’s a very nice and thoughtful lady. But of course my husband did not take her up on the offer. So we have been getting offers of support from both sides of the equation.
I have also been lucky to have friends who are helping out to take care of Laurana. Last week one of the Mom’s in Laurana’s class took Laurana home. Then when I came to pick up Laurana she even made me dinner!! I was so astounded, I didn’t remember the last time that someone had made me dinner. The next week another one of my friends made us dinner and even took care of Laurana for me while I worked. Thank you friends! I need the support and you have been generous!
Adventures in Grandparent Babysitting
The grandparents have been trying to help me out while my husband is gone, but some of their help (though well intended) only gives me headaches. My Dad was supposed to babysit my daughter this week while I attended a meeting at Caltrans. He arrived 30 minutes late so I had to get a neighbor to come in last minute to watch my daughter while they waited for my Dad to arrive. Then when I got home my daughter gave me an earful. First my Dad was asleep in a guest room and my daughter was in another. Then my daughter tells me that my Dad has been reading “nookie” (her word) magazines while I was gone. I told my Dad that it wasn’t cool to do what he did. Then I had to find the magazines (which my daughter had to show me) which were hidden in a dresser and I threw them all out. Urgh! Parents!
Thoughts About the Future
When I have a few moments to think about our situation I get worried. The situation in Iraq is getting worse now, not better. I was hoping that they would start to pull troops out of Iraq and the US Government does seem to want to withdraw. But how can you withdraw or even reduce troops when there is a religious civil war going on in Iraq? Will they call up my husband to go? Will I see him on the TV with Al-Quada threatening to behead him? More than anything I fear my husband’s transfer to Iraq. I hear that 40% of the troops in Iraq are now reservists and that our troops are stretched thin. I can only hope that my husband doesn’t become another Iraqi statistic. If I could only have a husband who had a boring desk job! Then perhaps I would sleep easier at night.
Posted: Sat - February 25, 2006 at 12:22 PM