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Published On: May 13, 2007 04:45 PM
Total entries in this category:
Published On: May 13, 2007 04:45 PM
Conversations with the Homeless
Some of my talks with the homeless over
time...
I have been trying my best to understand the
homeless. I often feel guilty about seeing a homeless person by the side of the
street begging. Do I give them food or money? Would they just use the money for
alcohol or drugs? Would it be used the right way? Should I just give them food?
And I also feel helpless. There is so many of them and only one me. How much can
I do?
My first conversation (that I remember) with a homeless person was in South Central Los Angeles on Figeroua near USC around 1990. I was about 5 blocks away from where the LA riots were going to start in 1992. I was eating at a Little Caesar's Pizzeria a few blocks away from USC. If you have ever been to Little Caesars (do they even exist anymore?) you know that whenever you order one pizza, they give you two pizzas. That's why their slogan is "Pizza, Pizza". My boyfriend and I had ordered one pepperoni pizza (which meant that we had two of them) and we were starting to eat the fresh, hot and greasy pizza. Two people then started to visit each table at the pizzeria. I will always remember the woman. She was extremely skinny, with dark, dry skin and frazzled, curly dark hair. Her hair was unkempt and was short. She had a dazed and hopeless look in her brown eyes. She went to our table and asked, "Can I have a dollar to buy a hamburger?" I looked her straight into her eyes (which seemed to be focused somewhere far away). "Are you hungry?" I asked? "Yes," she said. I got out a napkin and started to pile on some pizza onto the napkin and handed it to her. She looked at the pizza with a confused look and repeated her monologue to me. "Can I have a dollar to buy a hamburger?" I was indignant at that point. "I gave you some pizza", I said. I was so angry and she left my table with the proffered pizza starting to drip out of her hands. I now knew that she wasn't looking to buy a hamburger. It was probably drugs.
This didn't stop me from trying to help out the homeless from time to time. But it certainly changed the way I looked at them. Whenever I had dinner out and had leftovers packaged up to go I would frequently try to find a homeless person on the Los Angeles streets to give the food to. That way I knew that I was feeding someone, but at least I wasn't helping a drug addiction. I know that not all homeless people are drug addicts or alcoholics. But know I was worried. I didn't want my money going to the wrong avenues.
I continued on with this for years and I kept my distance from the homeless. Then I moved to Davis. The homeless population in Davis is certainly different from the homeless population in Los Angeles. They seem to be older here and I am told they are more likely to try to stay clean and sober.
I remember that I was on 2nd and E Street one day trying to get back into my car when an elderly homeless man with long grey hair asked me for money. He seemed like someone who was hungry. He said that he wanted money to get a meal at the Wok and Roll across the street. He said it was the cheapest meal in Davis. I didn't have food with me, but I felt compelled to give. I emptied out my change purse and handed my change to him. He looked at the change briefly and said that I had given him something by mistake. I had given him my mother/daughter necklace charm. It was gold and had a diamond on the emblem of a mother holding her daughter in a heart shape. He gave it back to me. I was astonished. This would have never happened in Los Angeles. I thanked him for returning it to me and drove on home.
About 3 months ago I was walking to La Boulangerie to get myself a soup and salad for lunch when a homeless man asked me to feed a woman he was with. I was honestly a little annoyed, but I stopped and said that I would then get her a salad. The woman then turned and said that she couldn't eat a salad and would like a burrito instead. I was pretty miffed at this point. Here I was offering to buy her a free salad and she was complaining. Thoughts of the woman from Los Angeles who kept on asking me for "a dollar for a hamburger" filled my head. She obviously doesn't want the food I thought. I bet she wants money for drugs or alcohol. I told her that I was not going to Gordito's Burritos and that I was going to La Bou and that I would be getting her soup. I was fuming. How dare she ask for a specific food item? Her real aim was obvious I thought. I grumbled as I paid for my soup and salad and then separated her soup into another bag. I then walked on past her and handed her the soup in a very gruff manner. She turned and smiled at me. At that moment I noticed that she had NO TEETH! Oh, I felt so horrible. She wasn't after money for drugs or alcohol. She really couldn't eat anything other than a burrito or soup. It would be really hard to eat a salad with no teeth. She said, "God bless you" and I stifled a sob as I left.
Most recently I was trying to get rid of all of the extra food that I had after my daughter's birthday party. We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and veggie trays that were uneaten and they wouldn't last very long. I had helped out at Grace in Action before. But they were closed and it was Easter Sunday. In fact even the downtown Davis Homeless shelter which is supposed to be open every day was closed. I drove around town looking for someone to give my food to. In front of Steve's Place Pizza in downtown Davis I saw an elderly homeless woman. She had long grey hair streaked with black and white. Her sweatshirt said "UC Davis" on it and she also wore a mismatched long denim skirt with sweats underneath. Her only possession was a small purple/blue satchel that looked like it had been bought at the Whole Earth Festival. I brought my plate of veggies over to her. I asked if she was hungry and if she wanted the veggie tray. She mentioned to me that she had just eaten and that she was "Thankful" for what she had. I was flabbergasted. All she had was a small purse. But she was thankful that she had a meal and really didn't need anymore food right now. I almost cried. I hen asked her where the homeless shelter was in town. I told her that i had been to H & 11th street and had seen no one. She said that I should leave the food there anyway and someone would come on by and eat it. She even offered to walk it over to the homeless shelter for me. I told her thanks, but that since I had a car that I would drive it over myself. I waved her goodbye and she smiled at me as I drove away.
I then dropped off almost all of the food at the homeless shelter on H Street. There was no one there, but I found a table to put most of the food on. I was a little worried when I left that the ants would get at the food. But I was hoping that the food would go to someone needy.
Three days later my daughter and I were dropping off some used clothing at "All Things Right and Relevant" on 8th Street. The same homeless woman was there. As I dropped off the clothes she said, "I know you!" I was dressed in business clothes that day and had my hair up, so I guess I looked a little different than when I was wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt. My daughter and I stopped to talk to her. I mentioned to her that I was the lady who tried to give her the veggie tray over the weekend. She was happy to recognize us and I asked her if she needed any food. No she said, she had just enough money to eat at Steve's Place Pizza and use their salad bar tonight. Or should she save her money and eat at the homeless shelter, which would be offering meals soon? She introduced herself to me, her name was "Mary Louise". I told her my name and my daughter's name. I also told her about "Grace in Action " and I did my best to try to remember what hours they were open and where it was located. She told me that she was schizophrenic and had been praying for God to heal her mental illness. She said that she had been treated in Woodland often and they said that she was really messed up. I encouraged her to pray. We left and my daughter offered her some of her pretzels from lunch and a penny. We waved as we left. I think that she was just happy to talk to someone who was nice to her. And obviously she needed more help than just some meals.
I had once only offered food to the homeless. But now I realize they need much more. Maybe they just need someone to talk to. Maybe they need a place to stay. Maybe they need help from Mental Health Services. Maybe they need help staying clean and sober. I don't know all of the answers, but I am beginning to see it is much more than the next hot meal that they need. They need some real healing.
My daughter and I have been praying for Mary Louise every night since then. Please take the time to say a prayer for Mary Louise once you finish reading this.
Thanks a bunch!
My first conversation (that I remember) with a homeless person was in South Central Los Angeles on Figeroua near USC around 1990. I was about 5 blocks away from where the LA riots were going to start in 1992. I was eating at a Little Caesar's Pizzeria a few blocks away from USC. If you have ever been to Little Caesars (do they even exist anymore?) you know that whenever you order one pizza, they give you two pizzas. That's why their slogan is "Pizza, Pizza". My boyfriend and I had ordered one pepperoni pizza (which meant that we had two of them) and we were starting to eat the fresh, hot and greasy pizza. Two people then started to visit each table at the pizzeria. I will always remember the woman. She was extremely skinny, with dark, dry skin and frazzled, curly dark hair. Her hair was unkempt and was short. She had a dazed and hopeless look in her brown eyes. She went to our table and asked, "Can I have a dollar to buy a hamburger?" I looked her straight into her eyes (which seemed to be focused somewhere far away). "Are you hungry?" I asked? "Yes," she said. I got out a napkin and started to pile on some pizza onto the napkin and handed it to her. She looked at the pizza with a confused look and repeated her monologue to me. "Can I have a dollar to buy a hamburger?" I was indignant at that point. "I gave you some pizza", I said. I was so angry and she left my table with the proffered pizza starting to drip out of her hands. I now knew that she wasn't looking to buy a hamburger. It was probably drugs.
This didn't stop me from trying to help out the homeless from time to time. But it certainly changed the way I looked at them. Whenever I had dinner out and had leftovers packaged up to go I would frequently try to find a homeless person on the Los Angeles streets to give the food to. That way I knew that I was feeding someone, but at least I wasn't helping a drug addiction. I know that not all homeless people are drug addicts or alcoholics. But know I was worried. I didn't want my money going to the wrong avenues.
I continued on with this for years and I kept my distance from the homeless. Then I moved to Davis. The homeless population in Davis is certainly different from the homeless population in Los Angeles. They seem to be older here and I am told they are more likely to try to stay clean and sober.
I remember that I was on 2nd and E Street one day trying to get back into my car when an elderly homeless man with long grey hair asked me for money. He seemed like someone who was hungry. He said that he wanted money to get a meal at the Wok and Roll across the street. He said it was the cheapest meal in Davis. I didn't have food with me, but I felt compelled to give. I emptied out my change purse and handed my change to him. He looked at the change briefly and said that I had given him something by mistake. I had given him my mother/daughter necklace charm. It was gold and had a diamond on the emblem of a mother holding her daughter in a heart shape. He gave it back to me. I was astonished. This would have never happened in Los Angeles. I thanked him for returning it to me and drove on home.
About 3 months ago I was walking to La Boulangerie to get myself a soup and salad for lunch when a homeless man asked me to feed a woman he was with. I was honestly a little annoyed, but I stopped and said that I would then get her a salad. The woman then turned and said that she couldn't eat a salad and would like a burrito instead. I was pretty miffed at this point. Here I was offering to buy her a free salad and she was complaining. Thoughts of the woman from Los Angeles who kept on asking me for "a dollar for a hamburger" filled my head. She obviously doesn't want the food I thought. I bet she wants money for drugs or alcohol. I told her that I was not going to Gordito's Burritos and that I was going to La Bou and that I would be getting her soup. I was fuming. How dare she ask for a specific food item? Her real aim was obvious I thought. I grumbled as I paid for my soup and salad and then separated her soup into another bag. I then walked on past her and handed her the soup in a very gruff manner. She turned and smiled at me. At that moment I noticed that she had NO TEETH! Oh, I felt so horrible. She wasn't after money for drugs or alcohol. She really couldn't eat anything other than a burrito or soup. It would be really hard to eat a salad with no teeth. She said, "God bless you" and I stifled a sob as I left.
Most recently I was trying to get rid of all of the extra food that I had after my daughter's birthday party. We had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and veggie trays that were uneaten and they wouldn't last very long. I had helped out at Grace in Action before. But they were closed and it was Easter Sunday. In fact even the downtown Davis Homeless shelter which is supposed to be open every day was closed. I drove around town looking for someone to give my food to. In front of Steve's Place Pizza in downtown Davis I saw an elderly homeless woman. She had long grey hair streaked with black and white. Her sweatshirt said "UC Davis" on it and she also wore a mismatched long denim skirt with sweats underneath. Her only possession was a small purple/blue satchel that looked like it had been bought at the Whole Earth Festival. I brought my plate of veggies over to her. I asked if she was hungry and if she wanted the veggie tray. She mentioned to me that she had just eaten and that she was "Thankful" for what she had. I was flabbergasted. All she had was a small purse. But she was thankful that she had a meal and really didn't need anymore food right now. I almost cried. I hen asked her where the homeless shelter was in town. I told her that i had been to H & 11th street and had seen no one. She said that I should leave the food there anyway and someone would come on by and eat it. She even offered to walk it over to the homeless shelter for me. I told her thanks, but that since I had a car that I would drive it over myself. I waved her goodbye and she smiled at me as I drove away.
I then dropped off almost all of the food at the homeless shelter on H Street. There was no one there, but I found a table to put most of the food on. I was a little worried when I left that the ants would get at the food. But I was hoping that the food would go to someone needy.
Three days later my daughter and I were dropping off some used clothing at "All Things Right and Relevant" on 8th Street. The same homeless woman was there. As I dropped off the clothes she said, "I know you!" I was dressed in business clothes that day and had my hair up, so I guess I looked a little different than when I was wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt. My daughter and I stopped to talk to her. I mentioned to her that I was the lady who tried to give her the veggie tray over the weekend. She was happy to recognize us and I asked her if she needed any food. No she said, she had just enough money to eat at Steve's Place Pizza and use their salad bar tonight. Or should she save her money and eat at the homeless shelter, which would be offering meals soon? She introduced herself to me, her name was "Mary Louise". I told her my name and my daughter's name. I also told her about "Grace in Action " and I did my best to try to remember what hours they were open and where it was located. She told me that she was schizophrenic and had been praying for God to heal her mental illness. She said that she had been treated in Woodland often and they said that she was really messed up. I encouraged her to pray. We left and my daughter offered her some of her pretzels from lunch and a penny. We waved as we left. I think that she was just happy to talk to someone who was nice to her. And obviously she needed more help than just some meals.
I had once only offered food to the homeless. But now I realize they need much more. Maybe they just need someone to talk to. Maybe they need a place to stay. Maybe they need help from Mental Health Services. Maybe they need help staying clean and sober. I don't know all of the answers, but I am beginning to see it is much more than the next hot meal that they need. They need some real healing.
My daughter and I have been praying for Mary Louise every night since then. Please take the time to say a prayer for Mary Louise once you finish reading this.
Thanks a bunch!
Posted: Sun - April 22, 2007 at 07:36 AM